Humanities professor put on administrative leave after quoting Deadwood in humorous, 'vulgar' class

Is being weird a criminal offense? No, but for Ferris State University in Michigan, it’s an offense worthy of a suspension.

Professor Barry Mehler, a professor of humanities at the university, was placed on administrative leave pending a full investigation after students complained about his behavior on Zoom.

The eccentric, if entertaining, professor regaled the virtual classroom with clearly tongue-in-cheek remarks about the COVID-19 pandemic, his fear of infection, and disdain of other people with a spoof of a scene from the HBO western, “Deadwood.”

While talking about his high-tech helmet equipped with HEPA filters, which he said protected him from “vectors of disease,” (i.e. other people), the professor paraphrased lines from the Al Swearengin character, infamous for his prolific use of bad language.

The professor suggested that the only way to talk to him was through Zoom, because he wasn’t interested in doing any “F2F” or “face-to-face,” or in his words, “fuck-to-fuck” meet-ups.

“I may have fucked up my life flatter than hammered shit, but I stand before you today beholden to no human cock sucker,” Mehler told the classroom. “I’m working a paying, fucking union job and no limber dick cock sucker of an administrator is going to tell me how to teach my classes because I’m a fucking tenured professor.”

“So, if you want to go complain to your dean, fuck you. Go ahead. I’m retiring at the end of this year and I couldn’t give a flying fuck any longer,” Mehler added. “You people are just vectors of disease to me and I don’t want to be anywhere near you.”

During the session, which was an introduction to the class, Mehler said that he didn’t think the students were “good enough” for an “A” grade and promised to randomly assign grades at the end of the semester.

“It doesn’t matter how fucking hard you work, or how great your grades are, my grading system is based on the Calvinist doctrine of predestination,” Mehler quipped. “None of you cock suckers are good enough to earn an A in my class. So, I randomly assign grades before the first day of class. I don’t want to know shit about you. I don’t even want to know your name … And don’t come fucking complaining to me, take your complaints to God, He ordained this system.”

Mehler later later suggested that there was “no benefit whatsoever” to coming to class, and stated that “when I look out at a classroom filled with 50 students, I see 50 selfish kids who don’t give a shit whether grandpa lives or dies.”

Although the professor clearly appeared to be joking throughout the session, students took it seriously and lodged complaints to the school, which placed him on administrative leave.

Speaking to the Daily Caller, university president David Eisler said he was “shocked and appalled” by what he saw, describing it as “profane, offensive, and disturbing and in no way reflects our University or its values.”

No one can take a joke these days. So much for the humanities.