Kids get stressed too, here's how to deal

The coronavirus situation is changing so fast that it’s so hard for families to keep up. Families have been driven indoors, employees are asked to leave the office and work remotely. Many of us are stuck at home waiting for news about developments. But amidst the confusion and anxiety what most of us forget is that children are also left to adjust to this drastic change in their routine.

Schools and daycare centres are closed, activities canceled. No more birthday parties, playdates, and trips to the theme park or museum. They won’t be seeing their friends, teachers, classmates, and other peers for a while. They might not be allowed to see grandma or visit cousins until everything gets sorted out. It’s not just us adults who are feeling the burden, children are dealing with these changes and we need to focus on helping them cope.

Children might not show signs of stress the way adults do, but they do feel it. They can feel anxious with this sudden change in their routine. The interruption and their parents’ confusion or frustration can trigger a stress response in children which, according to the Harvard Center on the Developing Child, may cause increased heart rate, adrenaline rush, and increased stress hormones in the body.

If the stress is relieved by receiving support from a caring adult the stress response winds down and the body quickly returns to normal. However, when there’s no parental support or in the absence of an adult to act as a buffer for the stress, the child’s stress response will remain activated. “This has lifelong consequences for the child,” according to the Center, since it affects areas of the brain dedicated to learning and reasoning. “This can be avoided if we ensure that the environments in which children grow and develop are nurturing,  stable, and engaging,” the center adds.

Children look to adults for guidance on how to react to stressful events according to the National Association of School Psychologists or NASP.  “If parents seem overly worried, children’s anxiety may rise.”

This is why at a time like this it’s important to remain calm and reassuring. Remember that what you do or say about COVID-19 may increase or decrease your children’s anxiety so you need to be mindful about the conversations you have at home. Let children talk about their feelings and remind them constantly that adults will keep them safe and healthy.

The NASP also tells parents to make themselves available to answer questions children may have about the situation.  Encourage kids to talk about their concerns or fears. Monitor television or social media news to make sure they don’t absorb information that may cause anxiety or confusion to children. Instead, engage them in activities at home to keep them busy.

“Maintain a normal routine to the extent possible,” NASP adds. Since a regular schedule can be reassuring it’s important to try to maintain a sense of normalcy in their lives. Follow their regular bed or mealtimes, allocate a few hours for them to do schoolwork during school hours as often as you can. This will make them feel that they are still part of the class and this situation is temporary.

Some schools have released new rules and practices, via Google Classroom and Class Dojo. As you explain the changes to your child, make sure that explanations are child appropriate so as not to overwhelm them.

Elementary children, for instance, need information to be short and brief along with a lot of reassurances that adults will keep them safe. Upper elementary school children, on the other hand, may be more vocal about their questions so be prepared to provide honest, factual, and truthful information about the current status of COVID-19.

Children may be too young to understand the situation or what’s happening around them during a pandemic, so it’s up to their parents to manage their anxiety and the level of stress at home to keep children calm and reassured. To successfully get through this together we have to make sure all members of the family stay well, healthy, calm, and stress-free.