Sperm donor wins custody of son after Oklahoma lesbian couple split up

An Oklahoma judge ruled earlier this week that a lesbian mother has no parental rights after her estranged wife, who is the child’s biological mother, left her and began a relationship with the child’s sperm donor.

Kris Willliams, 51, told TODAY.com that she and her now-estranged wife Rebekah Wilson opted to enter into a "known sperm donor agreement" with Harlan Vaughn in 2018, and by the end of the year, Wilson was pregnant.

Wilson and Williams were married in June 2019 and the baby was born in August. Williams did not legally adopt the child and said, "We had talked about different scenarios, that if I didn't adopt how things could go awry. But we both felt safe."

Two years later, Williams and Wilson separated and Wilson obtained a Victim Protective Order against Williams, making allegations of abuse that Williams denies.

According to TODAY.com, that same month, Wilson moved in with Vaughn, who later filed a Petition for Adjudication of Paternity and Establishment of Custody and Visitation in Jan 2022. 

Vaughn and Wilson have since had another child together.

Williams has not seen the child she raised for two years since dropping him off at daycare on Nov 23, 2021.

"If anything can put a hole in your soul, I would say it’s that," Williams told TODAY.com.

Court documents show that Williams' name is on the child’s birth certificate, and the child was given her surname, but because Williams did not adopt the child before the couple separated, she has no parental rights.

"The reality is that the law provides a legal remedy available to Williams," said Oklahoma County District Judge Lynne McGuire in her decision. "She knowingly chose not to pursue it."

McGuire further ruled that the Oklahoma law that automatically gives married couples parental rights over any child born during the marriage does not apply to Williams because the law was enacted before same-sex marriage was legalized in the state.

"Why should we have to adopt our own children?" said Williams in the TODAY.com interview. "If we want to have children you're going to put us through more loopholes to have our children legally? Why would you put that financial burden on people?"

Vaughn’s attorney, Rachel Morris, told TODAY.com that her client was "thrilled with the outcome of the case."

"From a legal perspective, this case is highly fact specific with regard to contracts, timing, and at-home artificial insemination," Morris said in a written statement.

Morris added that it is "unfair to the court to generalize this case as a ruling against LGBTQ+ parents," given the fact that Vaughn also identifies as LGBTQ.