The Super Bowl? More like the Sub-par Bowl!

Did anyone else feel as though that Super Bowl stunk for a variety of reasons?

I’m not just going to ramble on about how tired I am of Tom Brady winning six Super Bowls in 18 years, turning the once great spectacle of the Super Bowl into a showcase for how great he is. I’m saying that, from top to bottom, it was not nearly as enjoyable as it should have been

What has the NFL become? It is so incredibly over the top that it’s become tacky. The long winded intros are annoying, over dramatic, and unnecessary.

Do we really need a two minute intro video to remind us who the AFC and NFC champions were this year? We already know this. They’re playing in the Super Bowl, against each other.

Then, as we’ve seen nine times over the last 18 years, Tom Brady and the Patriots exit the tunnel to what was basically a home field advantage for New England. This was already sort of a given, considering the proximity of Boston to Atlanta compared to Los Angeles, but really, it wasn’t even close.

Hey L.A. Rams, do you have any fans? It’s seriously shocking that a city of 18 million people can have such apathy towards a Super Bowl. And to uproot the San Diego chargers and plop them down in L.A., as well as uprooting the Rams from St. Louis, to a bunch of apathetic fans in L.A.? Disgraceful.

The score going into halftime was 3-0 for the Patriots. Not the gun show that we all thought we were going to witness, but things have to get better from here, right? No! God, no!

The halftime show

What on Earth was the NFL thinking with that halftime show? Who was that for?! Who sat down in front of their TV last night and seriously couldn’t wait to see Maroon 5 play four songs?

If you were wondering what the deal was with that seven second Spongebob Squarepants clip, in late 2018, the creator of the popular Nickelodeon show died after a long battle with ALS.

The passionate fan base of the cartoon was crushed, and started a petition rallying for the Super Bowl to air a clip of Spongebob singing “Sweet Victory” from the episode Band Geeks, in which Spongebob and his friends sing a dramatic ode to victory in what they called the "Bubble Bowl," a clear nod to the NFL's famous annual event.

Instead, Spongebob was used as an intro to Travis Scott.

Sure, Outkast’s Big Boi was a nice touch and a welcomed homage to the ATL-iens that may have been in attendance that night, but overall, it was a massive let down.

Gone are the days of actual halftime shows, it seems! Remember Prince? Bon Jovi? The Who? The Rolling Stones? Acts of that sort have been pushed to the side in favor of the new formula: A mish-mash of different acts to pander to no one, in an attempt to please everyone.

You were probably a fan of the commercials last night if you’re a fan of the upcoming robot uprising. There were three or four different commercials that seemed to remind us that robots will be apart of lives in coming years, and that they will be much cooler and smarter than us.

Other than that, the commercials were pretty forgettable with a couple of exceptions, particularly that "fumble!" commercial that had contemporary and Hall of Fame NFL players in it.

And of course, as we all saw coming, Tom Brady pulls off another victory. At the jaw dropping score of 13-3. The Rams couldn't find the end zone once in 60 minutes.

As if we needed another reminder that he was the greatest QB of all time. We get it, Tom. Did we really need to see you win a 6th? Can’t you give someone else a turn? It’s been 18 years. It’s getting monotonous.

To be fair, it was never really a question whether the Patriots were going to walk away with another Super Bowl victory. As it has been pointed out, the Bible itself predicted Tom Brady would crush the Rams with conviction.

As we know, Tom Brady is often referred to as the "Greatest Of All Time," a title that is usually just represented by calling him the GOAT. In Daniel 6:7, there is a very clear reference to a goat defeating a ram in battle.

As I was thinking about this, suddenly a goat with a prominent horn between its eyes came from the west, crossing the whole earth without touching the ground.⁶ It came toward the two-horned ram I had seen standing beside the canal and charged at it in great rage. ⁷ I saw it attack the ram furiously, striking the ram and shattering its two horns. The ram was powerless to stand against it; the goat knocked it to the ground and trampled on it, and none could rescue the ram from its power. The goat became very great, but at the height of its power the large horn was broken off, and in its place four prominent horns grew up towards the four winds of heaven.Daniel 8:6-8

As our expert biblical interpreters have found, "the goat" that "came from the west" is a clear reference to Mr. Brady, who is from San Mateo, California. No arguing with that!

The "four prominent horns" that this verse mentions are probably in reference to Tom's four Super Bowl MVP awards that he's garnered during his career. It's unequivocally true.

So why is he so unlikable, then? Am I just jealous of his success? Is it because I will never enjoy 5% of the greatness that he has in his life? Is it because, on top of everything, he's married to a super model? In all cases, the answer is yes.

Luckily for us, though, The Super Bowl remained neutral this year. The NFL may have finally gotten the memo that most people don’t want politics shoved in their faces during every waking moment of their lives. There was no real political sentiment, no “displays of solidarity,” and no protests. A nice change of pace from recent years.

Anyway, I’m not a hater. Congrats to Tom and the Pats on the victory. Hope you give your son a big smooch for all the fans out there.

What did you think of the game? Was it what you were expecting? Or was it much, much worse? Let us know.