A new docuseries is challenging couples to bare all by submitting their sex tapes to the show, where a sex coach will break down and review the video to give them advice.
On the Discovery+ series called "Good Sex," viewers will be shown snippets of the couple's intimate footage, with censored private parts. The show, premiering Friday, stars coach Caitlin V. Neal, who specializes in "help[ing] men develop confidence and stamina in bed," according to her Twitter page. She explained to the New York Post why she prefers this unconventional approach to relationship counseling.
"When we are doing talk-based coaching sessions, I'm asking people to describe in words something that’s far beyond our ability to articulate: a sexual encounter," she said. "Often, because people don’t have a shared baseline understanding, [talking] pales in comparison to being able to see that on video."
The new series follows Caitlin V (the "V" being short for Victorious) through her workday, as she meets with a range of clients who come to her for help with intimacy problems, including mismatched libidos, trouble reaching an orgasm, and erectile dysfunction.
Before meeting with Caitlin, clients must record themselves having sex. For the sex coach, watching how couples have sexual relations is how she gives feedback and does her job.
"My goal is to find a neutral and compassionate base from which to receive information from them," she said. "I want people left with a sense that whatever they’re going through in their own intimate lives is normal, and there is hope. It’s OK to seek help."
In one episode, Wisconsin couple Erica, 37, and Thomas, 35, sought out sex coaching because Erica was not able to reach climax during sex. When they looked over their tapes with Caitlin, Thomas observed his own performance and commented, "I need to slow down."
Caitlin also noted that Erica was "moaning full volume, full force."
"I just know this has got to be part of a performance for her and not actually in response to what’s happening," she said after watching the sex video.
Throughout the session, Erica realized that she was grappling with issues of sexual shame and repression from her strict Christian upbringing. To help her, Caitlin gave her "homework" to examine herself in a mirror in order to become more comfortable with her sexuality.
In another episode, Caitlin meets with Los Angeles couple Ben, 48, and Annie, 40. They’ve been together for two years after meeting on a dating app. Prior to that, they had each been married to their college sweethearts. So, neither Ben nor Annie has much sexual experience. In Ben’s marriage, "it was not common for us to have sex," he said.
The most common problem that couples seek out Caitlin for is what they assume to be mismatched libidos, said the coach.
"That’s what they call it, but it's a whole lot of different problems that are going on beneath the surface," she said. "What looks like mismatched libidos might be that they don't know how to arouse each other. Or, they haven’t been open with themselves about what they really desire."
"It could be a problem with shame," she said. "It could be a hormonal or chemical problem … But it shows up as one person wants to have sex more than the other. It could be that there's resentment that has not been addressed. The interesting thing about our bodies is that they’re going to be the giveaway. They can't lie."
Alanna, 22, who has a lower sex drive than her boyfriend, Adam, 30, is one of the people who resorted to the reality show for help. However, she didn't like the idea of recording and watching back such a private moment.
"I don't like watching myself on anything, never mind something so intimate. I think it will be rough," she said in the episode.
As the couple watched their tape on-screen, Caitlin asked them to tell her what they noticed.
"I'm not doing much, just laying there,” Alanna commented. "I'm definitely the aggressor in the situation," Adam said.
To remedy the situation, Caitlin gave them some exercises to do, such as playing "sexy" games that make Alanna the initiator in bed.
"Being able to take control and tell him to come toward me or move away — I really enjoyed that," Alanna said.
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